what's wrong with me???

study in university about half year and more but still I can't speak out confidently and smoothly. (in English)

I feeling so upset recently, 

can't forget the lecturer point on me face in front of class told me that "you, you are bad.."

It gonna drive me crazy soon, can't stand myself with this kind of shit level...

present is very important, but why my language skill is so weak...

feeling disappointed on myself...

didn't have the thought to tell my family about my English's result,

iamsoregretthatwhyidinstudyhardatthepastyears

must smile in front of family and friends, not feeling to put them in trouble..
btw, I'm rushing for many assignment recently..
ITA, FTH MATH
the most let me headache is ITA..
today we have a discussion at my friend, yingying's house..